Sunday at Chapel.

Can't believe that pun hasn't occured to me before now...

But first Friday on the board. Another reasonable session on the board, getting even closer to the long term project, the top now feels like a formality (after initially feeling desperate). The first "slap" is feeling more and more static, I've still not properly held the hold but I'm definitely hanging it for a brief period of time. Yes that makes no sense, so sue me. Also managed to get one more move on the circuit, three laps is close now. All of this is very boring though, reading about moves I can do a few times or moves I can't do once which aren't even made of real rock on a poxy home board that you've quite likely never seen. Maybe I'll sort out a bit of video of it, still dull, but even more self-indulgent on my part...
Anyway the bad thing about the Friday training session was a left middle finger split tip, annoyingly postioned for Sundays plans which I hoped to involve pulling down hard on shallow left hand two finger undercuts. Bugger.

Saturday was epic in length, constant activity from 6am until 2am Sunday morning then up again at 6am Sunday morning feeling a little jaded. But the weather was nice so myself and Lard packed up the car and hit the road. Mrs Me's enthusiasm to come along that she expressed at the tail end of last nights activities had strangely dissapeared in a mere 4 hours of sleep, odd. A blast accross and up the motorway saw us once again trudging across the scree to Chapel Head and it was rather wet. Sexpest and family arrived shortly and discussions were had about staying or heading for pastures alternate. Sexpest had the final word, we stayed (I agreed with his view, after all Surfing With The Alien was dry enough to try). So SP and Mrs SP set about warming up on a route that was approximately 18 miles long while I stuck some clips in Surfing. After they'd returned to terra firma and recovered from altitude sickness I had a dabble on Surfing and gave it a brush, then a rest then redpoint one. I surprised myself by getting through the crux move then my foot popped, bum. Then a bit more dabbling with the third clip (which is really hard), SP had a play and slightly refined the footwork to good effect (still nails mind). I had another couple of red-points, my best effort being getting the third clip (back clipped mind, doh) and then falling. Doesn't sound like much but that's only one move from having done all the hard climbing (leaving only a bit fairly easy stuff and the fickle conditionsy last move). Anyway my skin was VERY sore and the split was growing at a quite alarming rate so I binned it feeling sure that any further attempts would be less successful and more painful. The SP family persevered with their mountaineering efforts, surely they both ticked 8,000 metres. I had a rubbish play on Zantom Phone where I just managed to make myself appear completely incompetent and I confirmed my suspicions that I was very tired and pretty much climbed out.
So Surfer is definitely on, I got close today and about the only two postive things were (1) that I had a pre-worked sequence that only needed minimal tweaking and (2) SP had provided SYKE in the form of 13 wolf power fleece, monster. Whereas the negatives were (1) conditions were not amazing (but to be fair it wasn't awful either) (2) I was very much tired and not on top form (3) skin issues in the critical postion on the critical finger on the critical hand. Next time it should go.

Monday evening I tried to have a board session, I warmed up on monster holds and felt a bit sore and tired but OK. Then I got on the circuit, which has some smaller holds, and it just felt like the split was being ripped apart. Not good, so I binned it. I now feel like I could hit the board tonight and have a good session apart from the split, a bit frustrating. Maybe I'll chance it...

Positive Person, Negative Environment.

How many posts with a weather theme? Jesus. I feel weirdly positive about my climbing right now. Given the lack of climbing I'm doing, both outside and on the board, I feel like I'm actually going reasonably well. On with the "thingz wot I hav dun" bit...

Last Thursday Lank and Pasty came round for an evening session on the board. A quick brew on arrival and then on to the board. It was another pretty good session which left me with a problem to come back to. Both Lank and Pasty seemed to have improved their footwork, although there was still evidence of some shocking foot-pops, tut-tut. Pasty definitely seems to be adjusting to the steepness well and was looking pretty strong, I think he might have a Winter of CRUSH if things carry on in this vein. Lank spent the evening trying to devise problems that revolved around doing a massive reach beyond mine and Pasty's span, so no change there then. Amongst his lank based machinations he managed to pull down in a convincing fashion. It's good having guests come to the wall as:
1) It gets me out there climbing on it.
2) I end up trying new and different style problems and linking holds in ways I hadn't considered.
3) Group sessions last longer and are more evenly paced.
This is all good stuff but I also need to get the keenie-beanie-ness to head out there seulment and put the effort in. Beasts aren't born they're built. Or something equally cheesey, right?

Saturday I popped up to Kebs with the family, the weather was grim. I didn't climb but I collected a Clip Stick that I've purchased off Nemo The Grumpy Teenage Fish (who incidentally appears to be going quite well right now, if he starts wearing trousers that fit him he might be not bad at climbing).

Sunday I had planned for a regular education session in the presence of the grand master Sex Pest at Chapel Head. The weather had different plans (i'll say no more about the weather) so I headed to Rubicon to meet up with Lank, Rick and Lagers. Now lets just get this clear from the off, I don't like Rubicon. It's all very nice next to the water leafy pretty blah blah but I find the climbing (bouldering) unpleasant and silly. The problems all seem to either be jump starts (which are just silly) or the crux is pulling off the ground (which is silly) or dirty hard sit starts (which aren't silly, well they are but in a different impressive way). Anyway I had a pleasant time despite the climbing. I think me and Lagers both agreed that the way to be amazing at climbing is to come to the crag with a ready supply of pastries and coffee. Sadly I didn't. ANyway afterwards I went for a cake and brew with Lank at Outside and made the extravagant purchase of some liquid chalk. Clip-stick, liquid chalk, just paint me in lycra and call me sport boy. I'm hoping the magic of liquid chalk (coupled with the granting of my wish for more PE and stamina) will change my current sporting vogue for failure into a lengthy line of ticks. Cake slices in Longlands are massive by the way.
Monday evening I went on the board with Mrs Keeg. She is also in training for Font-Oktoberfest and is looking like she's got the bit between her teeth. She's actually pretty handy at climbing in an annoyingly natural way but at times lacks focus and SYKE. Good to see her pulling down and going for (and hitting) moves which most times she'd not even attempt. I had a dabble of my circuit, it's about 16 moves and steep. My strategy is to go round as many time as I can without a rest, then take as long a rest as feels enough then go again (and theoretically repeat this process but I tend to get bored after attempt number 2 and move on to one or two move power problems...). Anyway when I first devised the circuit I could just do one lap and noow I'm up to two and a half laps. I think three laps is just round the corner and I think if I can do four laps then I will have the cling-on-ability to do my LTG sports project (which will then be replaced with a new harder project in the endless cycle of climbing...). I then went on to power problems (I am aware that mixing training like this is not considered optimum training but it's more fun and I'm all about the fun). I surprised myself by doing at the first attempt a problem that was devised at the previous group session on the board, I then worked a longer term project. It has a very hard first move then a hard few moves to the top. The top moves I have linked (albeit unreliably) but the first move is way off. Anyway today I did the top moves a few times in a row and they felt steady and for the first time ever I got my fingers into the pocket that you slap for the first move and for the merest sliver of a second I held it. I dunno where this apparent improvement has come from (god knows I've done nothing to deserve it) but I 'aint complainin'. It has however motivated me, the sport season is coming to an end and it has been thus for less than successful, and I have a Font trip coming at the end of October. I think the time has come to take this motivation and turn it into CRUSH.

September is drawing to a close, hopefully if the fates and the stars align October could be a month where things happen. And it's about bloody time...

Conditions: Fact or excuse?

Yesterday was spent at Chapel Head Scar with the Sex Pest and his better half. They had implemented "Grandparent Creche Facilities Scheme 1" whereas I had the boy Lard in tow. On arrival there was significant evidence of dampness but SP dazzled us all with a party piece ascent of Wargames in the rain, my hero swooon....
After that we all took place beneath our respective aims for the day, intermingled with Lard entertainment. It was a very pleasant day out but success was somewhat thin on the ground. Sam snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by foot slipping after the last of the bouldery moves on the start of Wargames. SP was Calling Mr Hall but nobody was answering. He managed all the moves and did a pretty major link as his last effort of the day but nothing was tied up, put to bed, satched or whatever is the current vogue term for the opposite of failing. I worked Surfing With The Alien some more, got the move that I struggled with last time. A high hold was wet but I convinced myself that I could climb through that, hmmmm... Anyway at the end of the day I decided to go for a redpoint and it went badly. The crux move is near the start and it felt impossible. Whats going on? How can a move which I'd done earlier in the day and, whilst it was a stiff pull, it wasn't the total living end suddenly feel impossible? I dogged up to the top and then found I couldn't do the last move, and it's and easy move. I'd done it a few time easrlier in the day without any hint of falling and now I couldn't imagine holding the key right sidepull. What? Conditions. The air felt very still and close and I imagine humidity was high. It rendered, for me, the route completely unclimbable. WHich is frustrating, again. Anyway there you go Conditions is F A C T.

Still a great piece of rock, I shall be back...

Perfect alignment happens rarely.

And it didn't happen yesterday. The plan was a Kilnsey day with the Guru. I had one aim which was A Smarter Martyr, Guru's new(ish) route from last year, or was it this year? I forget and I digress. Anyway, SYKE was high, the evening before I was feeling confident. I've committed all the moves to memory and had worked through the sequence in my head, there was no reason why CRUSH could not be engaged. And then I woke up Thursday morning to drizzle, low cloud, humidity and disturbed bowels. I won't dwell on the latter of these items, suffice it to say that as an ongoing affliction in my life IBS (or is it IBD nowadays?) has shitty (see what I did there?) timing. As for the other de-SYKEing items, the British weather is nothing if not dependable in it's undependability.
Anyway I set off for Kilnsey and on arrival was somewhat heartened to find that the crag was not fully condensation ridden as I expected but actually looked pretty dry and it was quite cool. Maybe things would be alright, I still felt bloated but that was only one factor of many, and surely I had enough of a buffer of success to overcome this? Or maybe a big fart would help??
Anyway Guru and Sean arrived and we chatted, they warmed up and the sun came out. Horror of horrors the temperature ramped up and conditions went to hell in a handcart. The climbing felt desperate, the holds were as I remembered, but just covered in a layer of damp slime (or that's how it felt). I pretty quickly binned the idea of redpointing my aim, and shortly after the Guru did likewise with his. Then in a flash of hopeless optimism I had another blast and failed horribly, yeuch, 'twas grim. Sean was working Biological so I also had a quick play on that inbetween times, nice climbing but a bit long to have any serious appeal to me right now. Anyway then I had to head home for family duty so left Sean and the Guru to CRUSH. Which it appears they did in fine style, Sean getting Biological and Guru rapidly dispatching Private Practice. Nice ones chaps.
Yet again I feel thwarted by my small time windows at the wrong time of day. I'd guess conditions improved as the day went on but staying wasn't an option for me. This is increasingly frustrating as I should have done this route by now (along with several others) but all the required factors are failing to align. I guess it's just part and parcel of being a person living in an imperfect world. Still grates though.
Then Thursday evening G-lank and Pasty came round for a brew and a board session. G demonstrated his immaculate as ever footwork to Pasty. Pasty seemed to take it all on board very quickly and was some emulating G's crisp accurate style. Apparently the footholds are all greasy...
Anyway Pasty was looking pretty strong, I've never seen him on a steep(ish) board before and despite his protestations of weakness he seemed to be pulling on some pretty poor holds. G mostly complained but again was looking strong on the steepness. It's just a shame he's so fat.
Anyway we had quite a long session, if quite low key, and didn't finish until half-ten. So quite a lot of climbing done, which is good, but nothing ticked again. Sounds like I might be of to Chapel Head again at the weekend so maybe some good will come of that...

Come on hips do your stuff...

Bank holiday Monday was spent at Burbage South boulders with the Font Twenty Ten massive. I was mainly herding but had a swift trog up to the edge with G-lank to declare the Rib impossible for the short and stiff hipped in warm conditions blah blah bleurgh...
Not a lot during the week, one board session on Friday night. Saturday spent herding whilst the boss crushed Shipley, oh yeah.
Sunday I went to Chapel Head Scar on a gooseberry invite with the sex-pest and his family. I took the boy lard and a ready supply of fodder and diggers and a grand day out was had. Even the Guru turned up. Sex-pest redpointed Prime Evil, Guru flashed it (and everything else it seemed, he really is going a bit too well right now). Sam was looking strong on Wargames (which looks epic, powerful start then it goes on forever and ever and ever). SP had a play on Mr Hall but made it look a bit hard (but very good), something to look at next time mayhaps? The chaps were digging a mighty hole. All was well. I had a dabble on Surfing With The Alien and got a workable sequence but for one move where old man hips put pay to success. I tried doing some stretches but everyone laughed at me so I went and dug a hole with the chaps. It's a great venue with brilliant rock so I'm very keen to return at some (not too distant) point. Obviously not until I have indulged in some more stretching (away from prying eyes this time). Righty-ho I'm off to not touch my toes...