Report from the Font line...

Well I'm back from Font. It was great weather, there were no kids to consider and I was rubbish.
Something about PPPPPP, prior preparation prevents and all that...
A summer of sport climbing is all well and good, but it certainly doesn't set you up well for a cheeky week of power in Font come the Autumn, especially when coupled with finger injury the week before departure. Lesson well and truly learned. This was compounded by the fact I felt rough for the whole week. I got home to discover I'd lost half a stone in weight, whilst holidaying in the land of the pastry, indicative of a serious case of consumption I'd say.
Anyway nothing of any note got ticked but a good time was had and I finally did El Poussif which has been a bogey problem of mine for several years. I've consistently tried it each year and it's always felt like it would go but I've reliably fallen short of the top. This Easter's trip I gave it a miss for the first time in several years, and then last week bosh first attempt it goes down, and feels pretty steady, and in front of a gang of young French hot(ish)-shots who then go on to fail on it for a couple of hours (well OK they obviously weren't anything like hot-shots, but they were French and young so the point stands). On a trip like this you need to take all the victories you can, no matter how trivial, so yay for me.
Maybe I should follow Keiths example and lock myself in a garage with a collection of dirty small crimps and a steep board...
Toodle-pip, what? what?

Phew, that was close...

After my finger misery of the last post I continued to wallow in a depressed funk and was generally grumpy, not a great pleasure to be around for that time. Anyway come Saturday the finger, whilst still uncomfortable and not right, felt as though it could be climbed on. Obviously when I say it could be climbed on what I mean is any intelligent rational person would rest for a few more days and monitor progress before diving in at the deep end but obsession being what it is I climbed.
A delightful day was had with the Guru, the rare treat being a complete lack of curfew, this makes days out so much more pleasurable and relaxed. Guru made good progress on his chosen target and I likewise made inroads on a (hopefully) short term goal. The climbing was (or certainly felt) fingery and powerful so provided an adequate test-bed for finger damage assessment. And the verdict was that whilst it wasn't right, it wasn't that wrong either. Woop woop. Or so I thought...

Roll forward to Monday evening and I decide to try the board. The warm up went fine, although I still felt a bit stiff and sore from Saturday (it was a long day), and even the circuit went OK, two and a half laps (a couple of moves shy of my best) but then onto the power problems. Oooof, the finger didn't feel so good then. Hmmmm, a bit of thinking about things led me to what is a pretty obvious truth, sometimes when you think you're pulling hard on routes, you're just not. On the board or perhaps bouldering are when you really pull down.

Anyway whilst out on Saturday the Guru and I discussed our aims for the coming winter on grit and we both appear to be suffering from the same malaise towards grit bouldering. There's still problems out there to do, but the buzz isn't quite there. At first I thought maybe this was because (in my case at least) I wanted to cling onto the remains of the sport season and get a tick or two done. But a bit more analysis led me to the conclusion that the routes were calling, maybe it's time for me to get back on the trad? And to that end I think I'll spend the afternoon surveying a couple of local prospects. Cheery-bye...

Bum bum bum.

I'm not a happy camper.
Last night I had a board session with Pasty and Memory Man (a newcomer to the fold). It was an enjoyable session, Pasty was looking stronger again on the steep stuff pulling on smaller holds and even his footwork seemed more crisp and precise. Memory Man struggled with the steepness but had pretty good positional awareness and reasonable strength in his arms and core, his fingers were his weak link (and footwork of course...). Anyway it was a fairly steady session with a healthy ratio of chat to climb. I didn't want to push too much as my left hand split tip was still at a critical re-splitting stage which would mean back to square one.

Roll forward to this morning and I am woken in the early hours by pain in my right ring finger and wrist, WTF?? This pain grows throughout the early hours making sleep difficult and causing my mood to deteriorate rapidly. Breakfasting the family and dressing Lard was undertaken through gritted teeth (caused by pain and poor mood) and now all family members are packed off to work/playgroup I've had a chance to assess the damage. My thoughts are thus:
1) This is very annoying
2) I don't think it's a pulley thing in the finger, it doesn't feel like it is and I don't remember doing anything last night that felt poppy.
3) I think the finger is probably some sort of lateral straining, I have noticed recently that my fingers have felt weak and painful when a lateral force is applied so I think I've aggravated this. I'm hoping it's just some light bruising/straining type thing and it will clear up in a day or two.
4) This is very annoying as I was hoping to get out and (assuming I could find dry rock) I was optimistic about getting some sport ticking ticked.
5) I am more concerned by the wrist pain, this is currently the less painful area but I think this has to be tendon (or some supporting structure) that has taken a hit. Again I don't remember anything that pulled it but that's all I can think of given the area/nature of the discomfort (as I dredge up anatomy from the far recesses of my mind...). Luckily this isn't so painful so I hope this is a minor tweak which will again sort itself in a day or two. My worry is that it could be a longer term problem, visions of G-lanks multi month rehab from pulley poppage...
6) This is very annoying as I'm going to Font in two weeks.
7) I'm annoyed.

Anyway enough negative stuff, I'll go off and concentrate on mending...

Sunday at Chapel.

Can't believe that pun hasn't occured to me before now...

But first Friday on the board. Another reasonable session on the board, getting even closer to the long term project, the top now feels like a formality (after initially feeling desperate). The first "slap" is feeling more and more static, I've still not properly held the hold but I'm definitely hanging it for a brief period of time. Yes that makes no sense, so sue me. Also managed to get one more move on the circuit, three laps is close now. All of this is very boring though, reading about moves I can do a few times or moves I can't do once which aren't even made of real rock on a poxy home board that you've quite likely never seen. Maybe I'll sort out a bit of video of it, still dull, but even more self-indulgent on my part...
Anyway the bad thing about the Friday training session was a left middle finger split tip, annoyingly postioned for Sundays plans which I hoped to involve pulling down hard on shallow left hand two finger undercuts. Bugger.

Saturday was epic in length, constant activity from 6am until 2am Sunday morning then up again at 6am Sunday morning feeling a little jaded. But the weather was nice so myself and Lard packed up the car and hit the road. Mrs Me's enthusiasm to come along that she expressed at the tail end of last nights activities had strangely dissapeared in a mere 4 hours of sleep, odd. A blast accross and up the motorway saw us once again trudging across the scree to Chapel Head and it was rather wet. Sexpest and family arrived shortly and discussions were had about staying or heading for pastures alternate. Sexpest had the final word, we stayed (I agreed with his view, after all Surfing With The Alien was dry enough to try). So SP and Mrs SP set about warming up on a route that was approximately 18 miles long while I stuck some clips in Surfing. After they'd returned to terra firma and recovered from altitude sickness I had a dabble on Surfing and gave it a brush, then a rest then redpoint one. I surprised myself by getting through the crux move then my foot popped, bum. Then a bit more dabbling with the third clip (which is really hard), SP had a play and slightly refined the footwork to good effect (still nails mind). I had another couple of red-points, my best effort being getting the third clip (back clipped mind, doh) and then falling. Doesn't sound like much but that's only one move from having done all the hard climbing (leaving only a bit fairly easy stuff and the fickle conditionsy last move). Anyway my skin was VERY sore and the split was growing at a quite alarming rate so I binned it feeling sure that any further attempts would be less successful and more painful. The SP family persevered with their mountaineering efforts, surely they both ticked 8,000 metres. I had a rubbish play on Zantom Phone where I just managed to make myself appear completely incompetent and I confirmed my suspicions that I was very tired and pretty much climbed out.
So Surfer is definitely on, I got close today and about the only two postive things were (1) that I had a pre-worked sequence that only needed minimal tweaking and (2) SP had provided SYKE in the form of 13 wolf power fleece, monster. Whereas the negatives were (1) conditions were not amazing (but to be fair it wasn't awful either) (2) I was very much tired and not on top form (3) skin issues in the critical postion on the critical finger on the critical hand. Next time it should go.

Monday evening I tried to have a board session, I warmed up on monster holds and felt a bit sore and tired but OK. Then I got on the circuit, which has some smaller holds, and it just felt like the split was being ripped apart. Not good, so I binned it. I now feel like I could hit the board tonight and have a good session apart from the split, a bit frustrating. Maybe I'll chance it...

Positive Person, Negative Environment.

How many posts with a weather theme? Jesus. I feel weirdly positive about my climbing right now. Given the lack of climbing I'm doing, both outside and on the board, I feel like I'm actually going reasonably well. On with the "thingz wot I hav dun" bit...

Last Thursday Lank and Pasty came round for an evening session on the board. A quick brew on arrival and then on to the board. It was another pretty good session which left me with a problem to come back to. Both Lank and Pasty seemed to have improved their footwork, although there was still evidence of some shocking foot-pops, tut-tut. Pasty definitely seems to be adjusting to the steepness well and was looking pretty strong, I think he might have a Winter of CRUSH if things carry on in this vein. Lank spent the evening trying to devise problems that revolved around doing a massive reach beyond mine and Pasty's span, so no change there then. Amongst his lank based machinations he managed to pull down in a convincing fashion. It's good having guests come to the wall as:
1) It gets me out there climbing on it.
2) I end up trying new and different style problems and linking holds in ways I hadn't considered.
3) Group sessions last longer and are more evenly paced.
This is all good stuff but I also need to get the keenie-beanie-ness to head out there seulment and put the effort in. Beasts aren't born they're built. Or something equally cheesey, right?

Saturday I popped up to Kebs with the family, the weather was grim. I didn't climb but I collected a Clip Stick that I've purchased off Nemo The Grumpy Teenage Fish (who incidentally appears to be going quite well right now, if he starts wearing trousers that fit him he might be not bad at climbing).

Sunday I had planned for a regular education session in the presence of the grand master Sex Pest at Chapel Head. The weather had different plans (i'll say no more about the weather) so I headed to Rubicon to meet up with Lank, Rick and Lagers. Now lets just get this clear from the off, I don't like Rubicon. It's all very nice next to the water leafy pretty blah blah but I find the climbing (bouldering) unpleasant and silly. The problems all seem to either be jump starts (which are just silly) or the crux is pulling off the ground (which is silly) or dirty hard sit starts (which aren't silly, well they are but in a different impressive way). Anyway I had a pleasant time despite the climbing. I think me and Lagers both agreed that the way to be amazing at climbing is to come to the crag with a ready supply of pastries and coffee. Sadly I didn't. ANyway afterwards I went for a cake and brew with Lank at Outside and made the extravagant purchase of some liquid chalk. Clip-stick, liquid chalk, just paint me in lycra and call me sport boy. I'm hoping the magic of liquid chalk (coupled with the granting of my wish for more PE and stamina) will change my current sporting vogue for failure into a lengthy line of ticks. Cake slices in Longlands are massive by the way.
Monday evening I went on the board with Mrs Keeg. She is also in training for Font-Oktoberfest and is looking like she's got the bit between her teeth. She's actually pretty handy at climbing in an annoyingly natural way but at times lacks focus and SYKE. Good to see her pulling down and going for (and hitting) moves which most times she'd not even attempt. I had a dabble of my circuit, it's about 16 moves and steep. My strategy is to go round as many time as I can without a rest, then take as long a rest as feels enough then go again (and theoretically repeat this process but I tend to get bored after attempt number 2 and move on to one or two move power problems...). Anyway when I first devised the circuit I could just do one lap and noow I'm up to two and a half laps. I think three laps is just round the corner and I think if I can do four laps then I will have the cling-on-ability to do my LTG sports project (which will then be replaced with a new harder project in the endless cycle of climbing...). I then went on to power problems (I am aware that mixing training like this is not considered optimum training but it's more fun and I'm all about the fun). I surprised myself by doing at the first attempt a problem that was devised at the previous group session on the board, I then worked a longer term project. It has a very hard first move then a hard few moves to the top. The top moves I have linked (albeit unreliably) but the first move is way off. Anyway today I did the top moves a few times in a row and they felt steady and for the first time ever I got my fingers into the pocket that you slap for the first move and for the merest sliver of a second I held it. I dunno where this apparent improvement has come from (god knows I've done nothing to deserve it) but I 'aint complainin'. It has however motivated me, the sport season is coming to an end and it has been thus for less than successful, and I have a Font trip coming at the end of October. I think the time has come to take this motivation and turn it into CRUSH.

September is drawing to a close, hopefully if the fates and the stars align October could be a month where things happen. And it's about bloody time...

Conditions: Fact or excuse?

Yesterday was spent at Chapel Head Scar with the Sex Pest and his better half. They had implemented "Grandparent Creche Facilities Scheme 1" whereas I had the boy Lard in tow. On arrival there was significant evidence of dampness but SP dazzled us all with a party piece ascent of Wargames in the rain, my hero swooon....
After that we all took place beneath our respective aims for the day, intermingled with Lard entertainment. It was a very pleasant day out but success was somewhat thin on the ground. Sam snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by foot slipping after the last of the bouldery moves on the start of Wargames. SP was Calling Mr Hall but nobody was answering. He managed all the moves and did a pretty major link as his last effort of the day but nothing was tied up, put to bed, satched or whatever is the current vogue term for the opposite of failing. I worked Surfing With The Alien some more, got the move that I struggled with last time. A high hold was wet but I convinced myself that I could climb through that, hmmmm... Anyway at the end of the day I decided to go for a redpoint and it went badly. The crux move is near the start and it felt impossible. Whats going on? How can a move which I'd done earlier in the day and, whilst it was a stiff pull, it wasn't the total living end suddenly feel impossible? I dogged up to the top and then found I couldn't do the last move, and it's and easy move. I'd done it a few time easrlier in the day without any hint of falling and now I couldn't imagine holding the key right sidepull. What? Conditions. The air felt very still and close and I imagine humidity was high. It rendered, for me, the route completely unclimbable. WHich is frustrating, again. Anyway there you go Conditions is F A C T.

Still a great piece of rock, I shall be back...

Perfect alignment happens rarely.

And it didn't happen yesterday. The plan was a Kilnsey day with the Guru. I had one aim which was A Smarter Martyr, Guru's new(ish) route from last year, or was it this year? I forget and I digress. Anyway, SYKE was high, the evening before I was feeling confident. I've committed all the moves to memory and had worked through the sequence in my head, there was no reason why CRUSH could not be engaged. And then I woke up Thursday morning to drizzle, low cloud, humidity and disturbed bowels. I won't dwell on the latter of these items, suffice it to say that as an ongoing affliction in my life IBS (or is it IBD nowadays?) has shitty (see what I did there?) timing. As for the other de-SYKEing items, the British weather is nothing if not dependable in it's undependability.
Anyway I set off for Kilnsey and on arrival was somewhat heartened to find that the crag was not fully condensation ridden as I expected but actually looked pretty dry and it was quite cool. Maybe things would be alright, I still felt bloated but that was only one factor of many, and surely I had enough of a buffer of success to overcome this? Or maybe a big fart would help??
Anyway Guru and Sean arrived and we chatted, they warmed up and the sun came out. Horror of horrors the temperature ramped up and conditions went to hell in a handcart. The climbing felt desperate, the holds were as I remembered, but just covered in a layer of damp slime (or that's how it felt). I pretty quickly binned the idea of redpointing my aim, and shortly after the Guru did likewise with his. Then in a flash of hopeless optimism I had another blast and failed horribly, yeuch, 'twas grim. Sean was working Biological so I also had a quick play on that inbetween times, nice climbing but a bit long to have any serious appeal to me right now. Anyway then I had to head home for family duty so left Sean and the Guru to CRUSH. Which it appears they did in fine style, Sean getting Biological and Guru rapidly dispatching Private Practice. Nice ones chaps.
Yet again I feel thwarted by my small time windows at the wrong time of day. I'd guess conditions improved as the day went on but staying wasn't an option for me. This is increasingly frustrating as I should have done this route by now (along with several others) but all the required factors are failing to align. I guess it's just part and parcel of being a person living in an imperfect world. Still grates though.
Then Thursday evening G-lank and Pasty came round for a brew and a board session. G demonstrated his immaculate as ever footwork to Pasty. Pasty seemed to take it all on board very quickly and was some emulating G's crisp accurate style. Apparently the footholds are all greasy...
Anyway Pasty was looking pretty strong, I've never seen him on a steep(ish) board before and despite his protestations of weakness he seemed to be pulling on some pretty poor holds. G mostly complained but again was looking strong on the steepness. It's just a shame he's so fat.
Anyway we had quite a long session, if quite low key, and didn't finish until half-ten. So quite a lot of climbing done, which is good, but nothing ticked again. Sounds like I might be of to Chapel Head again at the weekend so maybe some good will come of that...

Come on hips do your stuff...

Bank holiday Monday was spent at Burbage South boulders with the Font Twenty Ten massive. I was mainly herding but had a swift trog up to the edge with G-lank to declare the Rib impossible for the short and stiff hipped in warm conditions blah blah bleurgh...
Not a lot during the week, one board session on Friday night. Saturday spent herding whilst the boss crushed Shipley, oh yeah.
Sunday I went to Chapel Head Scar on a gooseberry invite with the sex-pest and his family. I took the boy lard and a ready supply of fodder and diggers and a grand day out was had. Even the Guru turned up. Sex-pest redpointed Prime Evil, Guru flashed it (and everything else it seemed, he really is going a bit too well right now). Sam was looking strong on Wargames (which looks epic, powerful start then it goes on forever and ever and ever). SP had a play on Mr Hall but made it look a bit hard (but very good), something to look at next time mayhaps? The chaps were digging a mighty hole. All was well. I had a dabble on Surfing With The Alien and got a workable sequence but for one move where old man hips put pay to success. I tried doing some stretches but everyone laughed at me so I went and dug a hole with the chaps. It's a great venue with brilliant rock so I'm very keen to return at some (not too distant) point. Obviously not until I have indulged in some more stretching (away from prying eyes this time). Righty-ho I'm off to not touch my toes...

Enviromental Climber

Friday evening I decided to go out for a run. I took the boy Lard up to bed, we read "A Dose Of Doctor Dog" three times and then there was a request for a story "about a train crushing two old ladies who were crossing the tracks too slowly", sometimes I worry about what I've created. I instead offered a story about an old lady who helped a dog find his lost ball, Lard wasn't impressed but it bored him enough to induce sleep. So in preparation for my run I donned my skimpiest shorts and a t-shirt, set the stopwatch running and then hit the road. It was pretty cold but I figured that I'd soon warm up what with all the running and such like, oh what sort of fool am I...
The plan was to run round the park, I'd worked out a circuit of the park was just over 1k so five laps plus the short run to and from the park would end up at about 5.5k-ish. Good plan, nay great plan. Were it not for a couple of small complicating factors. I'd forgotten to allow for the fact that 8pm Summer Friday evenings parks are populated by teenagers, lots of teenagers. So I enter the park, a quick scan of my surroundings yields wall-to-wall cool teenagers lolloping along, cruising on bikes and generally looking cool and young. No worries, I'll blast past them as a streak of grey (hair and clothing) and white (skin and footwear), they'll be impressed, oh yes no doubt. And they probably were. Unfortunately I had forgotten to allow for the fact that bodies of my vintage are prone to random acts of self-sabotage, which is why a hundred metres past the cool kids I pulled up with a calf strain. So here I am at the furthest point from my house, in a park full of cool kids, hobbling along, not even warmed up, shivering, wearing shorts that leave less to the imagination than anyone would desire with a collection of youths - that I have just run past- gaining on me rapidly. They overtook me and, despite my complete humiliation, the earth failed to open up and swallow me.

Saturday we hatched a plan of a day-trip to Wales, bouldering in the pass and then ice-cream, fish and chips and culture in Llandudno. Three hours drive to get to the pass, it's raining, blowing a gale and fucking freezing. Five minutes on Jerry's Roof before a family vote (2-1) in favour of escape to a cafe. Then on to Llandudno for a cream tea (controversially served pre-jammed and creamed and lidded!) then an ice-cream for lard, then fish and chips (with a bit of sandcastle building and pier walking inbetween times). And suddenly it's half six and time to head home. Get home and have a brew, a twelve hour day and six hours driving for five minutes working one problem. Unlike Keith I'd have to say it probably isn't worth it...
I was actually impressed with the pass, if not the weather, I'd be keen to return. But next time I think I'd want more bang for my environmental buck.

Should I Tri Harder?

Last week I was away on "holiday" with the in-laws. Holiday only in the sense that I wasn't at home, but in terms of a relaxing week away from stress it was an epic fail. God the in-laws are slow, and their extended family (that were also with us) are even slower. Never have my days been so filled with doing nothing, and when we did do something it was invariably sauntering round a Bakewell-esque town visiting tedious shop after tedious shop or handing over vast sums of money to look round a building which looks, in broad terms, exactly the same as the building we looked round yesterday. And even more gallingly is broadly the same as any number of NT properties that I can visit for free. A great holiday.
Anyway I managed to sneak out for a Cornice session with Guru. I failed to redpoint That Was The Sea and he made Ouijaboard look very hard, but did at least manage to tick it. In a strange reversal of fortunes it was the Guru who was time limited and we beat a hasty retreat.
I also managed an early morning run one day and got a PB time, which I wasn't expecting because I felt awful and heavy and slow whilst running. Anyway 5k in 22mins 17s, which gives an average of about 13.5kph.
Then on the way home I stopped at my dads for a couple of days and managed to get out for another run, 5.6k this time in 24min dead. Average speed of 14kph, which gives a 5k time of just under twenty-one and a half minutes, so getting close to the 21min target.
Since getting back home I haven't climbed, or run but have been swimming again. I felt very tired and my legs were strangely sore. I did another 8 minute 16 lengths breast stroke. I then tried to refine my crawl technique by doing short two length sprints. I managed a series of sprints of between 40 and 45 seconds. To be honest it was a pretty poor session, I was having issues with contact lenses and goggles which were really distracting. It's frustrating when things like this are the cause of disruption as I'm not sure I can really pin down what was wrong. It would be annoying to have a contact lens that feels wrong on race day and yet it seems I can't really do anything about it. Hmmm...
Anyway as has become apparent my climbing frequency has taken a bit of a hit, I'm hoping this is down to summer holiday based busyness but I fear that tri training may be a significant factor. And this is without any bike work (still not sorted a bike out) which will probably be the event that will need the most work, and take the most time. So I need to decide whether I just want to turn up for this tri and just get round the course in any time or do I want to give it a decent go and try and post a respectable time? I'm still thinking the latter, but climbing goals need ticking too.

Back in the pool

Doing lengths after a break of approximately 17 years. The local pool was surprisingly busy. There were lanes for people who looked serious and intense, one lane with a few people swimming quite slowly while looking grumpy and one lane with two people swimming pretty quickly whilst looking like they'd managed to trap an intimate part of their anatomy painfully amongst the gussetry of their high performance swimwear. I decided to steer clear of the lane swimming to start with, as I had no understanding of the protocols and unwritten rules that were seemingly hardwired into all the other pool users at birth. So instead I did battle with the middle-aged-overweight-doing-something-to-tone-up-supposedly-but-in-reality-just-looking-for-a-guilt-free-way-to-badmouth-my-consistently-disappointing-husband-to-my-equally-chunky-chums-under-the-guise-of-exercise-women. Which was nice. The trouble with the larger lady in the pool environment is their propensity to occupy a sizeable area of real estate, and a large collection of large ladies well you get the picture. Anyway this is serious swim training for a serious attempt at a serious triathlon so breast stroke it is right? The distance required is 16 (although maybe 17?) lengths of the pool. My first attempt including a couple of evasive manoeuvres the odd slow length tailgating and a scary moment when I was forced to stop by a group of menopausals comparing bingo wings was 8 minutes. I then went into the lanes for a go at front crawl, I managed four lengths in 1 min 40 before the intensity of the situation was too much for me and I fled to the free swim area. I think with a bit of work I should be able to get the swim down to low-ish 6 minutes.
So for two of the events I've got a rough baseline and I've also developed targets:
Swim 400m* - Current 8min - Target 6min 20
Run 5k** - Current 24min(ish) - Target sub 21min

*It might be 420m in the actual event but hey-ho
**I think the Tri distance is 7k, so I need to work those times up a bit once I've devised a suitable 7k route

Now this just leaves the bike. Now I've never ridden a road bike, ever. I don't even own a bike of any kind. So if any kindly soul has a spare/broken/unwanted road bike (or part thereof) that they are desperate to get cleared out of the garage/shed/hallway then (assuming it would be of an appropriate size for a stump, something 48-50cm I guess from my know nothing perspective??) I'll help you find it a home with pleasure.

Ascent Of Man

After claiming that my legs didn't feel sore post run I spent the next two days stumbling round with legs that wouldn't work properly due to extreme muscle soreness. Hardly surprising given my complete lack of running based exercise for the last ummmmm, well many years.
Anyway Sunday 1st I went out with Doug and had a decent session. A couple of top-ropes (tut-tut) and several goes on a training traverse. All pretty long and relentlessly steep(ish) so hopefully will have some positive stamina/recovery type outcome?
Then on Tuesday evening I'd arranged to go out with Doug again, however his daughter got into an entanglement with a jellyfish (Man 'O War apparently!!) during the day with meant a family trip to A&E for the Halls so instead I took the wife to boulder at Laxey. This plan was less than ideal as we didn't have a bouldering mat and the pebbly landings rapidly get uncomfortable as height is gained (or more accurately lost). Anyway had a nice evening in the sun but no great shakes in crush terms. Although a new project line was discovered, one I'd discounted as impossible previously. Now it appears to just be ludicrously hard. I was also surprised to see chalk on the problems when we arrived, it would seem there is a secret army of boulderers on the Isle of Man...
Wednesday saw the family Hall suitably recovered allowing Doug an evening out. We went to the only sport crag on the island. I've been here once before when conditions were very poor and was keen to revisit. This is my favourite crag on the island, it is really actually very good. But it definitely isn't your standard sport crag. For a start the walk-in is epic, involving very steep grass slopes and coasteering to leave you on a small ledge to the side of the crag. You then climb out above the sea. The position is brilliant and the climbing is excellent, there is only one warm up, one route and one project here right now but there is no shortage of potential. I might have to head back to the island quite soon.
Friday I went for another run, this one slightly longer (5km 250m apparently) and also slightly faster (24min 14s) giving an average speed of 13km/h or so.
Sunday went bouldering at Peel with the missus, this time we'd managed to blag a mat which made for a better session. Spent most of the time devising problems for her ladyship on the eliminates wall but did managed to come up with a couple of new fingery up problems and a wicked slopey traverse. All of them are completely eliminate and silly training type things.
Anyway home again now, probably not going to b out this week due to work and then next week I'm off for a family trip to Matlock for a week, hopefully I'll be able to get out for a couple of sessions.

Laying Down A Marker

I've agreed to attempt the Hathersage Hilly triathlon next year. I don't own a bike or any associated equipment. My only swimming clothing is a voluminous pair of shorts and until yesterday I didn't own any running footwear. So this is obviously going to be a complete farce.
Anyway yesterday I went to our local cheapo emporium TX Factory Max Shop or something and spent the princely sum of £10 on a pair of the finest running shoes. They might last a week. Anyway after visiting the shops the family packed up and headed off to the Isle of Man to spend some time with the in-laws. I decided to start my extensive training regime last night by undertaking an evening jog. I had a route in mind and using walkjogrun.net I discovered it was 5km, exactly the distance I was hoping for (actually it was 5km 30m and I don't know if it takes into account gradient etc but hey ho). Sadly the route was also a road course (not my preferred option) and really quite hilly (which is good from a training perspective but still...) Anyway I set off having told the wife that I was hoping for a time around 30 minutes but that I was probably less fit than I imagined and 40 minutes might be more realistic. I was most surprised to get round in 25 minutes dead. An average of 12km/h on a hilly course, reasonably happy with that. I imagine I'll get worse as time goes on...
Legs not feeling too sore this morning, which is surprising.
Ta-ta for now.

All different or all the same?

Trad, bouldering, sport. Three very different facets of the activity of climbing. And yet sometimes they fall so very close to one another. Like three adjacent sides of a cube, each distinct and separate and yet all meet at a point.
Earlier this week I went to Stronstrey to try a couple of possibly unclimbed lines with G-lah. Top-roping, working the moves like a sport route, but there only short so bouldering on a rope, but then on the sharp end it would definitely be bold trad. I'm not at the sharp end at this time, but with more work... Turning the trad into a sport boulder problem??
This morning was an early start, a very early start. To the Nook where a kindly soul had rebolted Lockless. Sadly climbing chums tend to be thin on the ground at half-seven Sunday morning so only Bammers had to suffer witness of my flailings. I conspired to work my way up Lockless on the shiny new bolts in a bizarre improvised self-belay system of dubious safety. The route is very short, very much a boulder problem, and it consists of a couple of slappy moves that I wanted to wire. So I got them sorted and then checked the top was steady away. Now what to do? I can climb the route, conditions are good, I feel pretty fresh considering the early hour. Hmmm... In the end this route is a boulder problem, so a solo is viable. I stick the mat at the bottom and solo up dragging a rope behind to lower off. A bit bo(u)lder than clipping the bolts, but also easier and quicker. A trade off that I'm comfortable with.
Then I bouldered out Theorea start, but it's pretty dirty and I can't be bothered messing around with the rope anymore so I trundle over to Dog Dinner Buttress for a brief dabble on the uber traverse before heading out past the arriving masses at the Cornice. Bammers has a bit of a mental on the way out and starts barking at some incoming sportsters, apologies if that was you.

Turning up the heat.

Crivens it's got warm! Since returning from the Isle of Man work has featured to a disappointingly large extent in my life however I have continued my somewhat unsuccessful sport climbing exploits with a smattering of bouldering. I've made a couple of trips to Kilnsey working a project but the weather has done me little favour. My window of free time is generally restricted to a few hours around midday, which is also the hottest part of the day.
This oppressive heat has been somewhat demotivating, to the extent that I'm considering bagging off trying the sport for a couple of months until conditions cool and instead trying to get some stamina, endurance, PE and power through other means...
Of course if I get an evening/early morning of freedom I'll sling the rope in the van and head for the bolted steepness.
Also visited Woodwell with G-lah. Had a dabble on Art Of Self Destruction and with a bit of G-guidance it started to feel like a goer instead of being deeply impossible. Nothing else of note happened on a bouldering tip but we went to the Wolf House for a cream tea post lacklustre performance (not that we deserved it) and they had sold out of scones!! Totally ruined my day I can tell you.
I'm now sat watching the tennis feeling somewhat sub-par, my wife (a teacher) has been kind enough to transmit some germs from one of her grubby little darlings as a little challenge for my old mans immune system. I imagine I won't make it through the night...

TT Week...

Was spent on the Isle of Man building a patio for the in-laws. However I managed to get out a few times.

Sunday, went out tradding and did half a dozen short routes all around the E4 mark. T'was nice to have a good day on trad after so long without doing it (notwithstanding the odd rare solo).

Tuesday went to a sport crag and tried a very wet 7C. The approach for this crag is epic and leaves you on a small ledge of to the left side of the crag 20 foot above the sea. The route heads out steeply right above the sea round the lip of a cave before heading up a steep headwall to finish up a groove, about 35-40 metres all told. A bit long for me, but it was very good (albeit in awful condition). There is also potential for several more routes here up to very hard grades. Keen to return.

Wednesday went to a training traverse which has been discovered. The traverse is about 7b+, but there is potential for a couple of low eliminate variations in the 8-something ballpark which I worked on.

Friday back to Sundays trad venue, and I was rubbish. Feeling a bit tired I think. Cleaned up a new line but the rock quality wasn't up to getting on the sharp end.

Also watched a bit of the races, it's hard to put into words just how fast the bikes are in the flesh (much faster than it appears on the TV). Brave, mad or stupid? Hard to say...

A Bit of Nookie

The week before last I went to Newbiggin with G and G, had a pleasant enough time but...

Well it isn't Font is it?

Anyway later in the week, after tales of Cornice dryness, a day pass was utilised to visit Cheedale with the Guru. Powerplant was the first port of call. Guru worked it our pretty easily, I struggled with the crux move. The Guru then had a successful redpoint and I worked it a bit more. It's getting there but is too long for my current state of fitness.

I then ventured round the corner to the Nook. Now this is more like it, short hard bouldery routes. Sadly also filthy, I had a play/clean on Lockless and unlocked the moves. After a rest I had a very poor redpoint attempt but to be fair the route was still filthy and it was getting pretty dark at this point. I think to do Powerplant I need to work it again and get fitter and to do Lockless I need to clean it and it needs to be light.

First route of the year.

Today I did my first route of the year. I've spent muchos time working projects without actually ticking (or indeed trying) anything at a slightly more rapidly achievable level. Which is fine, but it's nice to actually get a tick for all the effort expended thus far.
Anyway last week I spent a day mostly avoiding climbing by indulging in an epic bolting job for a new (probably very hard) line. But I did also venture to Trollers Gill where I had one quick toprope of Smouldering Globules Of Lust (previously of 7b+ fame but recently upgraded to 7c). Then on Sunday I found myself at Trollers once again. This time I managed to avoid climbing for most of the day by indulging in daddy daycare activities. However as a warm-up/main event/warm-down all in one combo I had a redpoint of Smouldering. It was all going swimmingly until I fluffed up a reachy clip. My mojo was blow-joed and I fell off the next move after spending an inordinate amount of time on the clip. Bah, oh well.
Today I was once again at Trollers, again the warm-up was a redpoint on Smouldering. This time it all went pretty easily, hell I was even putting the clips in on the top half, get me. Anyway on paper it sounds a bit naff, 7c in three sessions. But the reality is it's gone in three attempts (not counting a very brief failure at the start with a bogus sequence some time last year). Reasonably happy with that.
Also worked a new sequence on The Tinderbox, Andy's new route from last year. It has recently lost a hold on the crux so needed a new approach and I got a workable method and had a couple of redpoint attempts but weepy skin coupled with poor conditions meant no dice. This was originally given 7c+ but I think it is now going to be 8a. In fact I think it probably always was 8a but what do I know? When it comes to sport grades almost certainly not enough...

Lets get objective

This blog started back in the dim and distant past as a record of my efforts to reach a particular objective, that being to tick a Font 8A problem in the forest. Hence the title, Notes on an Objective, see? Anyway said objective was ticked at the start of April in my annual Easter trip to Font. So I guess new objectives need putting in place. In keeping with tradition this objective will be simply grade based, however to reflect my broadened interest in the church of climbing there will now be two goals. The aim is to get both by the end of the year.
1) A Font 8B boulder problem
2) A sport 8b+ route

Both feel a way off right now but the year is still quite young so time will tell.
As an additional goal, given that an Autumn Font trip is looking likely, I'd like to tick another 8A in the forest before the year is out.
Anyway 'tis the season to be sporty so time to get clipping.

Aim High

Friday was another sport session. A different venue and a different project but much the same outcome as Kilnsey. Links were made, things are feeling easier but the finish line is still somewhere in the distance. This project is probably the hardest "active" project I have going. Obviously there are other lines I've seen but I'm yet to get on which will be harder but they are currently pie in the sky. Mind you so is this right now, I am not going to climb this route on my next session, it's too hard. For me it's very hard. But that's good. Not because it will be x-grade (although it is easy to see the attraction in that also) but because it's a challenge. Climbing is a total "because it's there" game, there is no higher point or purpose, it is purely about personal satisfaction. So to all those who go out and strive to push themselves harder and further, regardless of where on an arbritary scale your challenge lies, I salute you.

To that end on Sunday I went to Jumbles with G-lah and Captain Convenient Forecourt Lunch Option. This place is filthy dirty and largely falling down but holds a couple of gems in the Lancashire sense of the word ;O). Here there is a modern classic by the name of Clowns Pocket, it's nice moves on good rock, low enough to boulder but high enough to feel spicy. Pasty has been trying this line and on Sunday (with a post stag do hangover) he was looking good. In the end he had several nearly goes but finished with an impressive backward exploding dismount from the last move. I think a slight tweak to his postioning for this move and he'll rinse it. He fully went for it, something I approve of heartily.

Sadly my spotting was less worthy of note. I apologise Pasty, I hope you're not too sore today...

Busy failing.

Had a couple of sessions at Kilnsey last week working a project and started getting some decent links together. Which was nice. I'd been kind of hoping to get it crushed but realistically that wasn't going to happen, I'm chronically unfit with respect to sport climbing even for bouldery routes. Fuck knows how shameful the performance would be on a proper stamina plod.

Then Friday evening I headed up to Silverdale with G-bob. I did Crushinator, a problem that G dispatched a couple of days earlier. Then tried a few other problems in the fading light, things to come back to (wow that list is getting long...)

Today back to Kilnsey, another couple of red-points on the project. I still lack the fitness for this, and I also don't have the ability to recover on a "rest". I'm hoping with a bit more effort these improvements will come but stamina (along with flexibility) has always been a very weak part of my game. Anyway it's starting to feel easier so I think it will go soon(ish), as long as I don't get bored and disheartened by failure. Maybe time to try another route/project and come back to this in a week or so? Anyway the Guru crushed it on his second redpoint of the day, bon effort.

Plans, Schemes, Objectives...

There were plans in place for this week. A list (albeit quite short) of things to be done. There were a couple of targets, silly little milestones to be reached. Or not. A combination of factors (limited time, the weather, my abilities) have conspired to make it unlikely that said targets will be realised. The targets will be realised ultimately, of that I'm sure, but the self-imposed time limit on the scheme will almost certainly not be met.
Hopefully my next posting will be a positive report...

Significant Moments.

Significant moments occur in all our lives. If we're lucky we realise that such a moment is coming, we prepare, anticipate, plan beforehand and then act in the "best" way we can. Other times the moment passes and hindsight allows us only a view of the moments significance, but no ability to change the course. Both of these situations will happen numerous times in anybody's life.

But then sometimes you catch the moment, you don't see it approach but it's there in front of you. Quick decisive action is required, there is seldom a right or wrong answer just different outcomes for different choices.

This morning was grey and damp. I choose to stay at home and work rather than hunt for dry rock with G. As lunchtime approaches the weather is improving but still overcast so nice and cool. I choose to forgo lunch and head out for a lunch-break session on the rock. I choose to not go bouldering, the obvious choice, but instead go to look at a local trad route. I get there and all is dry, there's a good breeze and the rock feels nice and cool. I had planned to put a rope on the line and work it, it is that kind of a route. But there is small amount of chalk on the first two holds, I follow the line up with my eyes, but the chalk goes no further. But those few specks of chalk are suggestive, a choice now needs to be made. Mentally flip the coin and then start to put my boots on. Tie on the chalk bag, fill it up, chalk the hands then set off. Up a few moves. I'm at a positive sidepull, my feet are good. I could jump off from here, it might be a bit sore but I could walk home with the dog and make some lunch. I look up, the holds are there, can see them, I can see the sequence. Half a dozen moves or jump off. Questions, will my fingers fit in the mono's? Will that foot stick? Will I reach the next hold? I look back down, maybe 15 seconds have passed, eyes back up. Go through the sequence in my head, it will work, a few more seconds, breathe chalk tenuous move to undercut,feet up, mono, mono, mono, crimp, it feels sandy, brush hand on jeans, chalk, crimp, better, compose, breathe, feet up, stand up reach, good hold, no it's not that good, feet up, compose, breathe, reach, big hold, head on rock, deep breaths. Relax, pull to top, sit down. And then the dog starts crying.

Oh yeah, went to Kilnsey on Friday and made decent progress on a project, back there tomorrow for more.

Fuck Fuck Fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

The promising start to the sport season is looking to be short lived. Right hand middle finger has developed pain, quite a lot of pain. Oh well, heading to Kilnsey tomorrow, lets see how the finger holds up...

Tis The Season To Clip Up.

Back from Font with a goal ticked it's time to move on to the summer objectives. These being somewhat unchanged from last years brief forays into the wacky world of sport climbing. So a sport 8 is required to complete the triumvirate. To add a bit of spice and impetus to proceedings I have foolishly set the goal of ticking a sport 8 this month (i.e. by the end of next week!). Meaning that both a Font 8 and a sport 8 will be ticked in a single month. These silly goals and aspirations are nice little waypoints that I can (fail to?) reach as I head towards an ultimate goal.
Anyway the sport started with a trip out with the Guru. A revisit of a couple of new route projects started last year. One is in the 8a+/b ballpark and the other is likely to yield no change from 8b+, so neither is particularly suited to a quick "tick this month" ascent for a man of my meagre means. Anyway I feel as though good progress has been made with a couple of nice links starting to emerge. There are these two projects and one other project line (about 8b) to finish off from last year and to get one of them would be great. I won't say I'm confident, but to get some links going so early in the season is at least encouraging.
Then today I visited Malham again with the Guru. The aim was Raindogs. I had three top-ropes of the line. The first one I struggled with one move but did all the other moves in a go or two. Second time up I got a sequence for the tough move, but got footwork messed up so no significant links and found another move tricky. Third go I linked from the ground to the first tricky move, then worked out a better sequence for that move, then went up to the top(ish) in three or four sections. For some reason I was really struggling to remember my foot sequences, and remembering sequences is usually a pretty strong part of my game. Oh well, at the time I felt a bit disappointed with my performance but with retrospect I've realised I haven't even had a go with a properly worked sequence yet so I think a bit more refinement (and a bit more fitness) and it will go.
The Guru seemed to hit a sequence pretty quickly and after two top-ropes working it he cleanly top-roped twice. He's got it in the bag. Especially as it was in the blazing sun and warm and sweaty. A bit of shade and cool and it will feel easier (for both of us I hope).
So I'm still really enjoying the sport climbing and I'm confident an 8 will go down this season and I'm hopeful for something a bit more than 8a. Bring on the b :O)

Friday 9th April

Last day. We called in to Bouligny so I could try Beaux Quartiers which I floundered on horribly. Conditions were less than ideal, I was very tired and my left knee was bleurgh so I couldn't pull on the left heel hook for the first move. Not impressive. I still think I can do this, but maybe not after a week or so of climbing...
Then we went to Cuisinierre. I've never been here before apart from one 5 minute look at Duel. It was really nice. PAIN was high though and SYKE was low so I promised myself I'd only try steep 7A/+ type stuff with big holds. To that end I went for Beetlejuice which went down second go and Le Mouton à 6 Pattes which also went down second go (and got a full team tick) but involved a left heel hook which totalled my left knee, arse.
Then we went to Apremont for a coffee. Most team memebers went home at this point but G-lah wanted to further torture his family by making them walk to Medallie En Chocolat. I went along to watch the fun. It was sizzling in the blazing afternoon sun and G-bob was a tired fat lankster so CRUSH mode was not engaged.
I should also mention that G got up at 6:00 in the morning and raced out to Sabot for a pre-brekkie CRUSh of Jet Set, now that is showing those Frenchies how to climb, go beast.
Anyway had a great trip with some very pleasing ticks, including the elusive 8. Things tailed off towards the end but that's hardly surprising. The big disappointment is the complete lack of video footage this year. Next year I'm going to video/photograph everything, when you get to my age you need footage as a memory aid.
Oh finally I forgot to mention that after my wife had met Dob-lah she expressed the opinion that he reminded her very much of an excitable puppy. An accurate description I feel.
Now to start on next years to-do list...

Thursday 8th April

It was raining this morning so we went for a group coffee in Milly where we met Baz, Jay and the SYKE-o-saurus. The team wanted to head to Sabot once the rain cleared but I persuaded Rick that a quick detour to look at Fata Morgana was in order. I literally just wanted to look at it as I was battered and it was a humid hot day and it had just stopped raining. Anyway we walked up to it and it looked very appealing so I thought I'd stick my boots on and have a quick throw for the pocket. The starting holds were grimness feeling very damp but even so my first attempt was just below the pocket. I had two more goes and was ticklling the hold, excellent. Then Rick boosted me up to the pocket and I tried the top which was steady away. This is now game on top of the list for next year, just need to persuade other people they want to go to Long Vaux.
Then on to Sabot where I talked shite with numerous luminaries of the Brit scene and climbed not a jot. Another day with no 7 tick, tragedy. Although it doesn't feel bad as the Fata knowledge was gleaned for implementation next year.

Wednesday 7th April

Ate a lot of pastries but didn't do anything else really. Went to Potala which was a nice spot then in the evening fell from the top of Attention Chef D'ouvre at Buthiers with very sore skin and low SYKE. As the trip nears it's end I am feeling increasingly weary and sore. Not an impressive day at all. No 7's shocker!!

Tuesday 6th April

G-dawg and famile went to have their wallets emptied at EuroHowfuckinmuch??? The rest of the team had a day trip to Beauvais. There was a lot of jaded-ness and SYKE was running low. Tried L'epee De Sable, did the moves but was in no state to link it,feeling rather battered truth be told. Did a couple of 7B's which are a pair of variations on a white (number 7 maybe?). They were a bit rubbish to be honest.
Not a classic.

Monday 5th April

The morning was spent at Cuvier as I needed to drop the trouble and strife off at Melun train station at lunchtime. G-lah and Mike were keen for Carnage, for about 5 minutes then they stumbled off muttering. Meestah Rick fancied a blast on Berezina, so I did too. It didn't go well.
Rick toddled off somewhere so I consoled myself with a 'flash' of Carnage having done the sitter last year. Then off to the train station.
In the afternoon the ladies climbed at Sablons. Then after dinner the menfolk headed back to Buthiers. Mike and G-pony went back to flounce at Magic Bus and Mestah Rick and I tried Mongolito which was wet, so we tried Dark Room which was wet (and felt a bit tough for 7A+) and finally we ended up at Coccinelle where I went for a repeat for the camera but dropped it at end. Was a bit academic anyway as the camera battery died mid-attempt.

Sunday 4th April

Went to Apremont. Was a bit rainy. Did Egoiste, Mike flashed it after a tactical hang back and watch approach. Failed to do somthing else (Envi D'oile???), then it rained. We might have gone somewhere else, I can't remember.
In the evening I skipped the start of group dinner and dashed to Buthiers in the hop that Coccinelle was dry. It wasn't but it was dry enough and after sliding off on my first attempt it was in the bag go two. Managed to get back to Maisonbleau before the others had finished theirmain course.

Saturday 3rd April

This morning we had various bits and pieces to do as we were moving from the hotel to Maisonbleau. Inbetween sorting this out we visited Buthiers where I briefly tried Coccinelle. This is a hangover from last year and I was keen to get it CRUSHED. Th trouble was a couple of the holds near the start (which is also the crux) were very damp and the finishing holds were pretty much wet. I managed to do all the moves in isolation pretty much straight off but linking it was not going to happen until it was a bit drier.
Anyway we got checked in to Maisonbleau (very nice) and started getting food ready for the troops arrival. The weather deteriorated so the plan to meet everyone at Buthiers was shelved and instead we met up at the gite. However once all had gathered it had cleared again and the boys were keen for a blast on Magic Bus so we jetted off down to Buthiers for a quick play. I did this problem last year but all of the other members of the boys team were keen for it this year. I did a demonstration showboat ascent,look at me, then got shut down by the left hand variant. The same grade? O'RLY?? Rick did it in pretty short order, half a dozen goes or so, look at him. Mike and G-lah made progress but it wasn't to be, either on this day or subsequently in the holiday. They can both crush it though, next year (or in the Autumn)...
I then jetted off to make pizza for 5 million hungry travellers.

Friday 2nd April

Another grey day greated us as we rose from a pleasant nights sleep in the Ibis. We trudged through a damp Font to get some pastries and then formulated a plan, and that plan was to go for a coffee and see what happens. Thinking was that Canche would be a good bet as it's quick drying, short walk-in, child friendly and the Boss likes it. As she had to head back to the drudge of real life on Monday it was only fair that she got venue choice for the first few days. There wasn't much I fancied doing there but I figured a few warm up problems to get the SYKE rising for the arrival of team CRUSH tomorrow. Anyway after a slow coffee in Milly things looked a bit perkier so we headed to Canche. On arrival things were soggy but drying and there was a decent breeze. Boss decided it was all to damp for her to climb for the next half hour or so, giving me a window of clamber. The hunt for dry rock didn't go especially well with the only thing dry(ish) being La Puce, hardly a warm up. So I tried to do La Marche the 7A to the right of La Puce. It was dripping wet but has pretty positive holds so I figured it might be possible. I surprised myself by doing it first attempt and it felt pretty easy despite the running water. Maybe thing weren't as bad as yesterdays performance suggested. Anyway then I did the last moves of La Puce. A pretty easy mantle but not something you'd want to mess up if you did latch the dyno move. And then a few throws at the dyno with a few different foothold configurations. I got the feet positions I was happiest with the Mrs Keeg decidied the time had come for her to get BEASTY with it. After she'd done a few problems it started to shower so we messed around for a bit, then as things dried I'd try La Puce then she'd do a bit, then another shower, repeat a couple of times and bang I hit the hold but don't quite hit it so swing off. Next go I hit it and hold it, stick the high foot on the damp hold and mantle to glory. Very happy.
Then it's the bosses turn again, she gets ready and the heavens open with the mother of all hailstorms. Yowzers, we cower under rocks then bail back to Font for a Chinese, livin' the dream.
Font 8A on the first full day, when conditions are variable to say the least. Not expecting that.
Buthiers tomorrow and the arrival of team BURL.

Thursday 1st April

We stopped off on the way down to Font at a Formule 1/"grim prison block of misery and doom" nears Lens so the morning was spent completing the drive down to Font and checking in to the hotel. T'was a little showery on arrival but the afternoon looked promising so we headed out to Sabot. I messed around with Lard while her ladyship had a clamber. Whilst wandering amongst the boulders I happened across Andy Jennings and lady, I meet this guy every year in Font. Then Doblah and the delightful Doblah-ess appeared. A spanking at the hands of the Dob was too tempting so boots were donned and CRUSH mode was definitely not engaged. An inauspicious start to the "lets show those Frenchies how to climb 2010" trip. Luckily the day was saved by a pizza at Chez Guy, that man's a loon.

Bleau Job

Shit a brisk is it really five weeks since I last wrote anything? Oh well pre Font preparations continued a pace until the week before Font when it all went a bit pear-esque. I hurt my left knee and my back and was busy at work and ended up heading off feeling a bit stressed and hassled and not confident of CRUSH. Anyway my E key is only working intermittently right now so I won't go into a warts and all epic (although that may follow at some point in the future) instead I'll simply give you the ticklist (with grades cos I'm an egomaniac loon). The more observant of you will notice an 8A (or two if you believe everything you read in guidebooks) was ticked, yay.
Anyway here's the 7 & 8 list:
La Grande Petit Marche* (7A+)
Saut De Puce (8A)
Magic Bus* (7B+)
Egoiste (7A/6C+)
Coccinelle (8A)
Carnage* (7B+)
Le Sectaire (7B)
Je Broie Du Noir (7B)
Beetle Juice (7A+)
Le Mouton A 6 Pattes (7A)

*repeats, have done them on previous year(s), or in the case of Carnage I did the sitter last year.

I may have missed something out as it is from memory and the grades are just lifted out of the guidebook, I have an opinion which may or may not vary from this. Definitely my best Font performance by a lonnnnnnnng way. So happy days. But this E button is cocking me off now so further musings will have to wait...

Broken Resolutions

It seems like, since I last blogged, huge swathes of time have been spent looking at a wet hold at the start of E-fix. Then trying Ebeneezer Goode despite knowing that said wet hold renders the problem unclimbable. Frustrating.
Having said that, I have also returned to Mytholm (host to previous adventures in DIY) and completed a new dyno there. Flight Path, 7C+. An ascent which I failed to video. G-bob has berated me for my video based forgetfulness and I have henceforth resolved to indulge in the filmic arts whilst climbing in a most reliable fashion, but more of this later...
I've also watched G-lah grow into an almost 7C crushing machine, there are now three or four 7C's out there that he can and will crush, just remember there is no spoon...
Anyway today I was back looking at a familiar damp hold, but this time with the Guru. A single attempt on Ebeneezer and I was convinced of its unviability. So instead I climbed (and entirely failed to film) the Ebeneezer start into Poison, huzzah. Probably 7C+ ish? I compensated for this failure at the first hurdle of my resolution to gather more footage by capturing in glorious technicolour the Guru effortlessly floating up Poison.
Now repeat after me, the camera is in the bag, the camera is in the bag, the camera is in the bag...

Drip, drip, drip.

Went to Warton with G-lah yesterday. It was pretty dry but there is a tree growing out of the break above the lip of Poison/E-fix and it was dripping on the lip holds. Also the slot at the start of E-fix was wet. And there were a few wet patches and streaks on the traverse into the start of E-fix. So actually it wasn't pretty dry it would seem. Anyway I tried Ebeneezer Goode and didn't do it. I know I can do this,but I'm just not. Yesterday it might have been because it was damp or because I was feeling a bit shit, or a combination of the two. But whatever, failure reigned once again. I did actually feel rubbish yesterday, my back felt sore, my skin was thin and rapidly became very painful and on the walk up the hill I felt tired and wanted to stop. Not a great sign. Oh well, next time (perhaps...)
Anyway G was looking pretty beasty on Poison, he's getting the moves like a good 'un now. I reckon the crush will occur in the near future. Especially given the shit conditions.
The we went to Trowbarrow where the shelter stone was also pretty dry whilst at the same time having some wet holds. I did nothing, G did much the same. Home time.

Peak performance

Since last posting I have been to Wet Pooh with G-lah and Pasty, which was nice. I've done a bit of crag based DIY, which appears to have been successful. And I've extended the board with a significant increase in the size of the 10 degree board, bonza.
Today I met Slopes and a motley assortment of reprobates at Cratcliffe. We had a pretty gentle day of Malt Loaf eating and shit talking interspersed with fits of climbing. I wasn't running high on SYKE for anything in particular, which made for a refreshing change. There was no sieging to be done today, a handful of attempts then move on (or more likely sit around for a bit). Anyway had a couple of goes at T-crack but didn't do the last move but walked on before getting heavily involved. Did a 7A traverse on the top of Cratcliffe. Did the right-hand roof problem in the cave at RHS, didn't do the left-hand line. Did Jerry's Arete. Then discussed the left-hand cave line with somebody and it became apparent that I was staying too far left. This rekindled a bit of curiousity so I trundled back up there and made a fresh attempt. I stuck to my "too far left" line and did it using a wild slap. A nice low key day, finished off with a lemonade in the pub - wild!

Highs and Lows

Well after the high of Monday day I then spent Monday night and Tuesday morning in the low grasp of puke and pooh. Oh joy.
The rest of Tuesday was spent feeling shaky and weak, and this morning I felt much the same. Fancying a bit of fresh air I thought of heading back to the Steeps to get some photos with a view to putting a topo together. But then G-lah had an unexpected afternoon of freedom so I offered to hold a rope for him while he cleaned up a project highball line in some esoteric quarry. The line is now clean and I think G will ice it quick sticks. A nice problem in the making.
Feel very weak and tired again now, is this what it's like to be old??

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I turn 35, and yet I still feel like a child pretending to be an adult. And that's ace.

As a little birthday treat I had planned on meeting a friend at either the Plantation or the Cliff. However the early morning weather reports were not good. Snowing in Sheffield and gloomy mist doom in Leeds. So I decided to bin the trip and hang out at home, maybe making a start on phase 4 of the boards development. Not as exciting as getting out but hey-ho. But by 10 things were looking pretty good here so I ventured out to Mytholm Steeps just 5 minutes away to try work some previously mentioned projects. As I arrived things were looking good, it was cold and crisp, a good breeze was blowing on to the rock, I felt light and fresh (after not climbing yesterday despite having planned a session), the flask was full of fresh hot coffee and I had a stash of chocolate and malt loaf. Sometimes things just fall into place and you know it's going to be a good day.

I warmed up by cleaning off the upper section of the easiest of the project lines. The top is a slabby face with lots of vegetation above, it gets very green up there and is quite highball. So I went up on a rope with a yard brush, a scrubbing brush, a nail brush, a couple of toothbrushes and a healthy dose of chalk. Then I started working the start. The problem climbs up a forty-five degree-ish overhanging face to finish on the slab above. You do an easy big move from a jug to a very slopey shelf/rib. Then a hard match and traverse slightly left using cheeky footwork. Then the crux move a dyno up and leftwards to a good flake hold, it's a wild move and amazingly improbable. You end up with your left hand on the flake hold and the rest of your limbs flailing wildly. Get your feet back on, match hands then up with your left to the lip and finish rocking onto the slab for an easy topout. The climbing from the flake hold upwards is an existing 7A+ but the bottom is desperate.

Anyway long story, short story I managed to do it today, very unexpected and very very nice.

Titus Gaukroger - 8A+

A photo showing the line:


A photo showing the sloping shelf/rib:


There are still a couple of projects I'd like to do here, but they are very hard.

Wet Pooh

Went to West View (rhymes with wet pooh, the title, geddit? Funny huh?) last night with G-lah and The Man Of A Thousand Pastry Products. G-lah was complaining that everything wasn't reachy enough for him or some such nonsense, I stopped listening to be honest, but he seemed to be going pretty well. Pastry also seemed to be gunning for glory, maybe if he stops making the schoolboy error of a skin softening, muscle tiring pre climb swim he'll be tearing it up.

I, for the first time this year, felt like I could actually climb. I didn't feel light or strong or anything, but just like I could at some point in the future be lighter and stronger. I still feel like I will forever be completely inflexible though. Anyway, hopefully this trend can continue upwards to pinnacle at the start of April, coinciding nicely with the annual Fontstravaganza. So projects outside and trip forthcoming, time to get the bouldering burl. And then after Easter I can unleash it on the bolted lime to tidy up last years unfinished business.

I'm off to build a fingerboard, ciao.

Local projects for local people...

I was recently moaning to the Guru about the fact that to get stuck into a hard project I need to drive for an hour and there isn't anything near by. He nodded in his wise way and then suggested a venue that may yield fruits a little closer to home. I explained that I had visited said venue and felt it was not really worthy of further exploration. The conversation moved on to talk of chocolate and why my wife is trying to poison me with de-caf coffee, but the thought was in my head. Maybe I should revisit this place for one last search for esoteric gold?

A few days later I found myself with an empty lunch hour stretching before me so hopped in the van and headed out to quest. And lo the scales were removed from my eyes, what had previously seemed a damp and dirty venue was actually revealed to be...


Well still and damp and dirty venue if I'm being honest, but there was potential. A few more visits and the lines were slowly revealing themselves to me, and now I've climbed all the problems that I can climb relatively quickly I'm left with a handful of truly difficult problems to work and work and work. I doubt any of them will be below 8B, and I doubt I'll ever do any of them, but I can try. And it's close to home so I can try a lot. It reminds me of my time spent at Rivelin Quarries, and that is when things start to happen. When you get your focus on one or two problems that you can easily get to regularly. Exploit the good conditions when they happen and hope that you can become equal to the challenge. I feel inspired.

I've also been to South Lakes and Almscliff and done nothing, which puts a slight dampner on proceedings but hey-de-ho.

Climbing in a Winter wonderland.

I wanted to hit the new year running in terms of climbing. My hope was to get out several times in the first week or so of the year to get my body and mind back up to speed on the climbing front after the Christmas lull. Obviously this hasn't happened, I dunno why I bother coming up with schemes as they seemingly never come to fruition, hey-ho. Anyway a combination of heavy snow, car problems, chasing up late payments and feeling a bit heavy and unmotivated has meant that this early dash hasn't thus far materialised.
On Monday I paid a visit to Rochdale wall, which was OK. I went there because in these freezing temperatures it is difficult to build up a lot of enthusiasm for going on the board (or it is right now), I think once I'm back in the swing of climbing the board will be excellent but it just felt a bit hardcore, so the wall it was. It was very quiet, not that surprising given the weather. I had a reasonable session doing something completely new, there were some (four I think?) link up problems which I had a play on. I'd normally just go for a pure power bouldering session so it was interesting to try something a bit different. Anyway I managed to tick them which I was a bit surprised about, maybe last years sport climbing antics have improved my fitness. I would say this though, if you do go there and try the links I think the grades offered are a bit wide of the mark, but then what would I know?
Yesterday I ventured up to Silverdale. I had a quick look at At The Heart Of It All and it is just crazy hard, but I'm still tempted to play. Then I went back to Anna which I got done in quick order, it felt significantly easier when not as glassy as a glassy thing. I had a brief play on Anaesthesia, the moves are hard but not that bad, but man is there a lot of them. Anyway the final port of call was Not Bad Dave SDS, I've spent far too many sessions on this. I managed to finally flounder my way up it, thank god, I'll never be getting on it again. It feels dirty hard to me.
As for the conditions, Anaesthesia was dry (although some of the feet were a bit soggy), Toms roof area was pretty seepy and damp, a few problems would have been try/dry-able but conditions were not primo, Not Bad Dave SDS was dry apart from one of the starting undercuts which was slightly damp but easily dryable, At The Heart Of It All was dry but most of the other problems there were damp. Also several roads had large sections of sheet ice which made for entertaining driving conditions. It was snowing as I left so it may all be white/wet now.

The board tonight I think, need to feed the SYKE.

Happy New Year

Went out for the first time this year yesterday. A trip up to Silverdale with the G-unit. I was hopeful for a not too shabby performance as ongoing underlying plague infection over the festive period meant weight gain was probably at a minimum (although I have no measure of this fact so could be very wrong).

Anyway it wasn't to be, at Warton after doing Plubline in a few goes I then failed to do the crux move on Ebeneezer Goode and failed to do the Poison extension. Then on to Woodwell where I failed to do Anna, then failed to do anything else at all. Rubbish.

Oh well, things were pretty dry up there, though I guess they may not be now. But it was incredibly glassy, which is hardly surprising as G was predicting -4 as the max temp, so friction was pretty much non-existant. I think once the year and myself have warmed up a bit then some of these should get crushed/satched/rinsed/whatever.

Snowing like a very snowy thing now so I think it's going to be a week of board work to get the body firing again then out and about for a tour of CRUSH/DISAPPOINTMENT*

* delete as appropriate.