Perfect alignment happens rarely.

And it didn't happen yesterday. The plan was a Kilnsey day with the Guru. I had one aim which was A Smarter Martyr, Guru's new(ish) route from last year, or was it this year? I forget and I digress. Anyway, SYKE was high, the evening before I was feeling confident. I've committed all the moves to memory and had worked through the sequence in my head, there was no reason why CRUSH could not be engaged. And then I woke up Thursday morning to drizzle, low cloud, humidity and disturbed bowels. I won't dwell on the latter of these items, suffice it to say that as an ongoing affliction in my life IBS (or is it IBD nowadays?) has shitty (see what I did there?) timing. As for the other de-SYKEing items, the British weather is nothing if not dependable in it's undependability.
Anyway I set off for Kilnsey and on arrival was somewhat heartened to find that the crag was not fully condensation ridden as I expected but actually looked pretty dry and it was quite cool. Maybe things would be alright, I still felt bloated but that was only one factor of many, and surely I had enough of a buffer of success to overcome this? Or maybe a big fart would help??
Anyway Guru and Sean arrived and we chatted, they warmed up and the sun came out. Horror of horrors the temperature ramped up and conditions went to hell in a handcart. The climbing felt desperate, the holds were as I remembered, but just covered in a layer of damp slime (or that's how it felt). I pretty quickly binned the idea of redpointing my aim, and shortly after the Guru did likewise with his. Then in a flash of hopeless optimism I had another blast and failed horribly, yeuch, 'twas grim. Sean was working Biological so I also had a quick play on that inbetween times, nice climbing but a bit long to have any serious appeal to me right now. Anyway then I had to head home for family duty so left Sean and the Guru to CRUSH. Which it appears they did in fine style, Sean getting Biological and Guru rapidly dispatching Private Practice. Nice ones chaps.
Yet again I feel thwarted by my small time windows at the wrong time of day. I'd guess conditions improved as the day went on but staying wasn't an option for me. This is increasingly frustrating as I should have done this route by now (along with several others) but all the required factors are failing to align. I guess it's just part and parcel of being a person living in an imperfect world. Still grates though.
Then Thursday evening G-lank and Pasty came round for a brew and a board session. G demonstrated his immaculate as ever footwork to Pasty. Pasty seemed to take it all on board very quickly and was some emulating G's crisp accurate style. Apparently the footholds are all greasy...
Anyway Pasty was looking pretty strong, I've never seen him on a steep(ish) board before and despite his protestations of weakness he seemed to be pulling on some pretty poor holds. G mostly complained but again was looking strong on the steepness. It's just a shame he's so fat.
Anyway we had quite a long session, if quite low key, and didn't finish until half-ten. So quite a lot of climbing done, which is good, but nothing ticked again. Sounds like I might be of to Chapel Head again at the weekend so maybe some good will come of that...